The fall semester starts in 9 days.
I’m feeling excited. I’m feeling anxious. I’m feeling relieved.
I’m excited about the fall because it means more flexibility. I know there are people who think this is a piece of cake, but remember the grass always seems greener on the other side – there are still things that aren’t all sunshine and daisies. I have a good balance of everything that is important: work, school, boyfriend and myself – not necessarily in that order and not always in the same order.
One thing that is hard for me is to sit still. I know I need to relax and give myself a break, but it’s really hard. I thrive on structure and being busy. This year has been a damn rollercoaster and it’s the most time I’ve ever had to myself.
While summer classes were very busy and left little wiggle room, since finishing them at the beginning of August, I have found myself with time to slow down if I choose too. That has been quite the challenge.
I think about the summer and my mind races – I don’t know where to start. This isn’t what I expected my summer to be, but that doesn’t mean it was bad.
I ate more than I intended, but I don’t really regret it. Yeah, I had days where I will look at JP and poke myself, but really, this was the first time I wasn’t saying ‘no’ or pushing back. I probably should’ve said no more than I did, but I’m moving on and you should too.
I’ve said before that you can a lot about a person through how they write during certain times. When it’s been rough it reflects in my writing, when it’s getting better it also reflects.
I look back at June 17th and a reread that post – found here. I agree with that Cristina. I shake my head with her because I still feel parts of her. The parts that are in disbelief that I ended up here, but sometimes I don’t even know where here is. I know that sounds confusing, but I think some of you can relate.
Sometimes when I think about my future I see one thing, but the reality becomes another. Each day brings something new and we should embrace it. Embrace the risk and see what happens – that’s the hippy side of my thinking. The other side of it is calculated, like, yes, of course you ended up here and if you turn this way you can take this path and if you turn this other way there’s another path. This summer I became better at blending these two thoughts. I don’t always need to be calculated and sometimes it’s just not going to happen.
Thinking about what I wrote in regard to balance in June – that Cristina needed a nap and a cup of tea, but she was trying her best. If only she knew what was in store during the cross city move. However, July was better and August even better as I crashed then got back up and found some kind of routine that I could make sense of. For the past five weeks I’ve had a solid workout schedule that makes me feel like I’m balancing fitness Cristina with all the other Cristina’s. We still have breakfast together, but on Sunday’s I lift while he stays in bed, however, he’s been going running while I go to the gym. On week days, I go to the gym when he leaves for work, so I have about an hour for my meals to settle – I’m not a fan of lifting on a full stomach, I definitely prefer fasted like I do on Sunday’s, but that’s just my preference.
Adding yoga a week and a half ago was a really good idea because I’m already feeling a difference in my back, so I’m alternating it with my lifting and running – still taking a rest day somewhere in the week…wherever it makes sense for that week.
I believe in bagels – you can read about that here. I believe in working hard for what you want. I believe in jumping and taking risks. I believe in making minimal excuses and breaking down barriers. I also believe that my grind is going to look different than the person beside me. It won’t always be understood and that’s ok.
I wrote less this summer because I didn’t feel I needed it like I have in the past. That is a risk for me. That is new. I’ve connected in other ways that were just, if not more, meaningful. However, it made me uncomfortable to feel like I couldn’t share my day. If you meet me in person, I won’t talk much until I am comfortable with you and then it’s going to be late nights with liter and a half bottles of wine. I think that’s what happened. I was so comfortable talking to a screen, forgetting that people are on the other side. This summer I relearned how to communicate in a way that I felt was safe. That meant more journaling and letting experience happen with maybe a photo or two to capture it. Below are some photos from this summer.
I’m taking my bagel philosophy and charging full on into September. We might not talk like we used to, but I can’t wait to take you with me.
With summer BBQ’s and gatherings over bonfires, there are some treats that you just can’t escape, nor would you want to. For me the list contains s’mores, guacamole, burgers and chicken wing dip. I know I’ve written about chicken wing dip before because I make it at other times of the year for a bunch of different kinds of parties. The last time I made it was for the Superbowl and it was just as much of a success as it was when I made it for Thanksmas.
However, this time around I really wanted to make a version that I didn’t feel guilty eating. This isn’t something that I eat often, but even still, I know the ingredients and they’re not all things I typically consume.
We had been invited to a pre-4th of July BBQ and knowing this crowd, I knew what kind of food to expect (I may have had a few too many cupcakes), so I figured I could leave some extra wiggle room with some on the fly modifications the foods I was bringing to the party for myself. I made my regular batch of dip for everyone else, and had brought the recipe below for myself.
What You’ll Need:
- Joseph’s flax and oat pita
- 60g of fat free cream cheese
- 3 teaspoons of Frank’s Red Hot
- 4 ounces of chicken
- 1/2 tablespoons of Rosemary and Sundried Tomato seasoning
- 1/4 cup Mexican blend cheese
- Pre-heat oven to 350 degreees.
- Spray baking sheet and lay out chicken evenly apart, bake for 7 minutes or until cooked.
- While chicken is baking, in a bowl soften 60g or 4 tablespoons of fat free cream cheese.
- Add Frank’s Red Hot to cream cheese. Set aside.
- While chicken is still hot, tear apart into bite size pieces, add to cream cheese mixture.
- Stir in Rosemary and Sundried Tomato seasoning thoroughly – nothing worse than a full bit of spice!
- Stir in shredded cheese. Set aside.
- Take your pita and open the pocket.
- Stuff chicken and cheese mixture into the pita. Bake on an ungreased baking sheet until outside is crispy.
This recipe serves one and it’s super filling. I had it as an in between meal while we were chatting and playing yard games. It could be served for lunch or dinner because the portion is enough to keep you content. You could also serve with pita chips if you wanted a little more carbs to the meal.
Macros and nutritional information:
Macros will vary as you change ingredients and portions.
I don’t know how you all feel about warm weather, cold weather, snow, rain or other phenomenons caused by mother nature, but I am so excited that warm weather is here! So for day 16, I’m celebrating tank tops, warm weather, sunshine and a movie star sunglasses.