I’m willing to fail

I’ve thought about what to write for the last few days and I think I know what I want to say. I’m not scared to fail, but I’m scared of not trying and therefore not knowing if I could’ve succeeded or failed.

I have failed a lot in my life, in many different parts of my life. You can learn from failure and not repeat the same mistakes, if you’re smart. By not trying, you are ultimately telling yourself that you aren’t good enough to succeed. You aren’t worth working on and your goals are worth pushing harder for. Maybe this extreme, but I see giving up and not trying as worse than failure because failing means you at least took the steps to accomplish something.

I’m down another half pound and while some might brush that off as nothing, I’m looking at it as a success. I’m now 156.5, which is 17.5 pounds lighter than I was at 21 weeks out. I’m almost a size 6 and I was a 10 when I started. Mentally, I’m still up in the air when I receive unsolicited opinions about my body, my food and my workouts, but I feel for the first time I’m doing something because I want to. Of course my weightloss journey has been about me, but this competition is about going out of my comfort zone, trying new things, trusting a process I’m continuously learning about and lifting heavy things and putting them down.

I was never been someone who would get excited about dead lifting or lifting until failure, but it’s something I thrive on. I love setting a goal, crushing it and setting a new one; while losing fat and gaining some tiny bits of muscle. I am surprising myself all the time with what I have and can accomplish. Having the ability to fail doesn’t mean I necessarily want to fail, but to me it means that I understand I have a lot to learn and that I will learn from my mistakes and failures.

Tonight’s workout is a great example of failure and success.

After meeting this fantastic women named Laurie a few weeks ago, and working out with her this past Friday I learned about drop sets. Tonight’s sets were back and arms. I think this was a perfect wake up for me and my lifting partner because we could feel what it was like to low row higher than our usual weight as well as bring the weight down to where we were when we first started in July. It was easy to laugh at how light the weight lower weights that we mocked used are. For example, we did dumb bell shoulder presses; I used 20, 15 then 10 pounds. I was always the girl in the back of the weight class using 5 pounds, I now use 15 pounds for many dumb bell workouts. I was shocked at how light the 10 pound dumb bells were. We also started using the squat rack, which has made it easier to increase weight and not fear potential injury. While these are clearly successes, low row kicked my butt when I prepped the first set for 70 pounds and I’m sure I’ll feel it in the morning!

Just knowing how far I’ve come in the past 10 weeks makes me hopeful, excited and curious about the next 11 leading up to the show.

I’m not going for perfect, I’m going for the best version I can present at the time. I can always do another show. I can always do more training post the show. But before I get ahead of myself, I’m going to work as hard as I can to make this version awesome.

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This is from yesterday before I weighed in this morning!

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This morning HIIT cardio and weigh in 🙂

I hope everyone else had a great Tuesday!

❤️ Cristina

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Official times are in!!

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I got my results from last nights 5K! Out of 181 participants I was number 108. In my age division I was number 12 out of 22 females ages 20 to 29. Out of all females I was 52 out of 109. My official time was 31:26. The fastest time was 16:55 by a 35 year old male, his average pace was 5:27! My goal isn’t to become that fast, but I do hope to continue to be active and keep my health as a priority as I approach my 30s and beyond.

❤️ Cristina

My first timed 5K

Today I ran my third 5K, but my first timed race. The first two were considered “fun runs” i.e. Color runs. While I had time those myself with my heart rate monitor and running app for my phone, I never felt the pressure to run a race and hit a specific time. I had goals for myself, but without a huge time clock at the end I didn’t feel this sense of push like I did tonight.

My goal was to run 3.1 in 31 minutes or less. My mile has been averaging 9:30 so I thought this was a pretty solid goal. Well, I ran 3.27 in less than 32 minutes (I’m waiting on my official time to be posted). My first mile was 8:53, and I blame this on lack of resistance as well as wanting to get away from the pack. I love pushing my boundaries and running that hard didn’t hurt, but when I checked my HRM I was sitting at 187 bpm. It happens all the time, but I was like holy crap, I should slow down. Slowing down is an issue for me, when I try to adjust my pace I really screw it up in either direction, too slow or too fast. Head phones in my ears I was waiting for the coaching alarm to say my mile and pace… When her little voice said “1 mile pace 8 minutes and 53 seconds,” I was like no wonder I feel like I’m going so fast; it’s because I am!

During miles 2 and 3 I had asthma attacks. Now, I don’t have an inhaler because only ridiculous things set it off and it was a fun medical condition added from my weight gain. I ran passed a woman with the strongest perfume and while I had been controlling my breathing, one inhale of that and I was gasping for breath trying to my throw up. It was the worst feeling ever. I actually stopped running and put my hands in the air to open my lungs.

After a minute I got back on my merry way.

The second attack happened when I passed a man wearing cologne. I am so proud for choking back my quest bar.

After the coaching voice went off that 3 miles were complete, I took everything in me and pushed as hard as I could to finish. My lungs wanted fresh air and my body wanted to lay down. The best way to finish faster is to go faster. I ran the last stretch with a pace of 8:27. When I was done I laid on the ground and gulped down a bottle of water.

I hadn’t trained for this race like I usually do since I have been working on my lifting and hitting new weight PRs, but I’m pretty pleased with how I did. Now that I know the route I can practice for next year and hopefully get faster. I have another 5K in October. It’s the Color Run, so it’s another fun run, but I’m still very excited about it. My bib collection is coming along nicely. So is my racing shirt collection 🙂

Below are some pictures I took tonight of race things!

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And here’s a little throwback Thursday to my first race!

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I hope everyone else had a great Thursday! I’m gearing up for before work HIIT by heading to bed early!

❤️Cristina

My Friday night’s include protein and my HRM

After a few moments where I had a breakdown in front of my fridge this morning due to lack of meal prep, I pulled myself together and reminded myself it’s Friday. It’s not just Friday, it’s casual Friday and you have PR’s to hit in the gym today. This got me pumped up for my after work hours, but I got a lot done today in the office, so I’m pretty pleased.

Today’s workout was all weight lifting with a rotation of all the circuits I do. I took a few things out because it wouldn’t sense to do 150 front plate raises, when I’m clearly doing other workouts for the same muscle group. Here is a list of the workouts I did, and yes I was bad and did some deadlifts anyway:

Straight leg deadlifts

DB shoulder press

DB curls

DB tricep extensions

DB delt skier kickbacks

Plate front raise

One arm cable curl

Triceps kickback

Upright row

Alternating DB deltoid raise

Tricep rope pushdown

Barbell rear deltoid row

DB reverse fly

Glute pulses

Push ups

Cable pull through

DB pullover

Butt ups

Plank row

Captain’s Chair leg raises

Cable chest press

I was definitely able to fit a lot into an hour and a half. I hit two PR’s. The first was the Captain’s Chair 4 sets of 10 reps of leg raises. My core strength has improved a lot, but I have A LOT of room for more improvement.

My second PR was not flipping shit on the person who invaded my workout bubble when I was dead lifting. I was seriously considering dropping the barbell on their foot :] Instead I moved my weights, papers, bottles and protein bar over… they then proceeded to make a big deal about me moving. I’m sorry for being an asshole and needing my space to lift.

Moving on. Here are some pictures from today including my weightloss progress! I’m officially down another pound bring the total to 12.5 pounds lost in 36 days. I’m super excited about this because while it is a lot, it’s steadily coming off and I’m keeping it off. I’m eating well and often. I can say I’ve never been happier.

 

 

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On Friday’s we flex

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Not too shabby

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Back progress! 36 days!

 

I hope you all had a successful Friday and a great weekend! I’m going to sleep good tonight!

❤ Cristina

 

Friday’s goals

I’ve lost about 12 pounds in the first 35 days of this crazy adventure, and with 28 pounds to go and a little less than 16 weeks, I’m deciding to be a little daring. I’ve always relied heavily on cardio to shed pounds, but aside from my new Beachbody DVD set, I’m going to be strict with my weights. I’ve also been experiencing some knee tightness lately, which my chiropractor said is  from over working the muscle. Her example was the muscle around the knee is in something like a Charlie Horse, which causing it to tighten depending on the movement.

Most of the problem movements are squats and hard cardio. So my goal for tomorrow is to mix up the 10 different circuits I do over the course of my typical 3 days of lifting, but remove the cardio elements in between each set. While I will do some leg work, I’m going to avoid deadlifts and leg curls because those aggravate my knee the most. I’m going to add more core strengthening, and hopefully increase some of my weights. Here’s to new PR’s!

Hopefully I’ll be able to get some interesting shots and do my weigh in! Until then here’s a gem from the other night’s lifting session. I am awful at pull ups and I’m still developing my upper body strength, so this is a big deal for me!

 

❤ Cristina

New circuits and a new PR

I’ve gotten over my fear of lifting at my home gym, but the layout isn’t really friendly to the circuits I do. Since the gym at work is closed on Sunday in the summer, I rewrote a quick one circuit back/core routine. I had planned on going to Zumba post lifting, but had forgot that class was canceled today :/

Here’s the circuit, repeat 4 times.

10 reps Reverse Fly 12lb DB

8 (on each side) Crossover Reverse Lunge

10 reps Hyperextension with 25lb plate

5 (on each side) Plank Row with Pushup 12lb DB

10 reps Bent Over Barbell Row 50lb preweighted barbell

10 reps Stiff Leg Deadlift with 60lb preweighted barebell

10 reps Bent Over Barbell Row 50lb preweighted barbell

10 reps Stiff Leg Deadlift with 60lb preweighted barebell

46 minutes and 355 calories later… not too shabby. PR’d with 60lb stiff leg deadlift at 10 reps. I’ve been lifting 60 pounds, but I can now finish a set of 10 reps. I’m pretty excited about that and I can’t wait to be able to increase the weight in a few weeks.

Now onto food prep and heading into work.

Hope you all have a great Sunday!

 

❤ Cristina