Acceptance can create neutrality

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Something I’ve been practicing this year is losing or shifting labels and purpose in my daily life.

In relation to nutrition, we talk about ditching labels so food no longer is identified as good or bad, unhealthy or healthy, but just food. Using thought processes of do I like this food or does this food fit my needs now can change mindset and the relationship dynamics. This is a way that those inanimate things lose their power. This can also be applied to excise, so why not other tools or strategies?

Along with this shift, I’ve felt more confident in setting boundaries. One of the boundaries I’ve focused on is not over-explaining myself; not becoming a martyr for the “cause”. We all have access to Google and if people truly want to know something they can find the information they’re looking for. Now whether they feel they can or want to is another story. Obviously, this doesn’t apply when I wear my coaching cap or have a purpose of education. But in personal endeavors, feeling the need to explain can start a negative cycle.

This boundary has resulted in a shift in how I share in this space.

At one point in my life, this blog felt safe. It was a way to hold myself accountable, connect with others and share bits along the way. Over the years this space has evolved and I’ve also utilized other outlets on social media or other mediums altogether.

Change is inevitable; you can either flow with it (create acceptance) or beat against the current hoping that you can survive (fester judgement and guilt).

I know I’ve written about this change a lot this year and about half the reason is part of making a change is talking about it over and over again before finally taking action. It can also look like dipping your toe in and then backing out. I know I’ve been doing a combination of this toe-dipping and talking and action.

This week was interesting in the sense that I felt more neutral than I have in a while. Let me tell you, neutral is nice. Like coasting and enjoying the breeze.

I wrote a poem last week without a prompt for the first time in a while and that was nice. I’ve also written a few verses here and there this week that I know will evolve into other pieces.

I think ultimately, I admitted that while writing has been an amazing outlet for me, I was forcing it to have a job that it just didn’t want to have.

I think it’s the same reason my workouts felt good this week. Not perfect, but exciting, challenging and fun. My hamstrings are still feeling staggered RDL’s from Friday.

There’s a proverbial toolbox. It’s where you keep all the coping strategies you can use, but don’t necessarily have to use each time. There’s a chance that there will come a time that one doesn’t help so you put it back in the box and grab another. You may have to do this a few times.

Creating a space to acknowledge how important and powerful my coping mechanisms are to me has also allowed me to understand that it was possible that none of them were being helpful the past few months. Accepting that it was ok to go through the motions of using each one here and there, actually helped lower stress more than I thought it would.

Going through tools I offer clients like connecting distorted thoughts such as shoulds and musts to specific tasks rather than myself helped me start to ditch those labels.

Like, poetry should feel good right now. This workout shouldn’t have felt that hard.

While those phrases don’t have me or I in them, they’re about actions that I do, which was coming back to feel kind of icky.

Remember, we are allowed to feel however we want to, but how does that serve us? Where does that come from?

How can you create space to be in your feelings, choose to grow from them and accept that sometimes you’re going to get a little stuck?