Advertisements

Keep building doorways, and rooms, and houses

I like writing on the last day of the year. I like writing every day and while I haven’t blogged in almost a month, I’ve done more writing this month than I ever have.

Like I’ve said before, start right now. Don’t wait for something whole. I know that a new day, new week, new month, new year and now a new decade is exciting. It can feel different like you’re starting an adventure.

There’s nothing sexy about small changes and deciding that the next hour will be different. I want to say I’m sorry, but I’m not – that’s just life. But the real question – why are you waiting?

There are things I accomplished this year that I had hoped I would like build more strength and consistency. I wanted to continue to challenge myself, which I have done by adding Street Parking to my routine. I wanted to hike more and be outside, sadly it took me until August to do that, but August and September and part of October brought some great hikes.

Last year, I wrote a letter to myself on the last day of the year.

I said “I have always wanted to be satisfied and feel love inside.”

That’s something I’m still working on, but I think I’ve gotten better at. I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t seeking connection, but we all are. The better question is why? What do we think connection will give us? Once we have that connection will we really be satisfied?

I’ve challenged my thinking and started different kinds of conversations with friends more heavily around religion and politics. It’s not about changing each others minds, but seeing what we can learn from each other. This has taught me more about patience.

My heart felt pain and disappointment happiness and joy and love – not just for myself, but for others too.

I started personal training and health coaching at a gym, which was terrifying, but has given me more experience to be a better coach. I started small group training at a studio and that has challenged me to be creative so I can be supportive of a broad range of populations. I know my online coaching practice is better because of my in person practice.

I’ve met some new people and let some others go. I’ve made a lot of choices, and have a million more to consider.

I went back to school again because there will always be debt and dying and I just don’t think waiting does me any good. So we’re crossing off pre-reqs for a masters in public health and dietetics. It’s not going to be a quick journey, but I know it’s going to be worth it.

I pushed my writing a lot. I started writing more for myself. I started writing more poetry. I entered a writing contest because I feel like I have something to say.

There are also things I failed at, but holding onto those failures and dragging them everywhere I go doesn’t necessarily improve me. We learn from failing, from making choices that don’t pan out.

Our plans never quite happen the way we want them to, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t look back and still see the good that we’ve left behind. A change in plan doesn’t mean that good can’t still happen or that different is inherently bad. It just mean there’s been a change – you either accept that or you don’t.

My arms are open wider, and I’m giving myself some flexibility in my plan because you just don’t know sometimes.

Advertisements