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Stepping into life again kind of anxiety

I’ve been feeling like I want to throw up all morning. My chest has felt tight too.

I felt fine when I woke up. But you know what they say about being fine.

I called the electric company because I still hadn’t received confirmation that they turned off the electric at the apartment we moved out of in October– shocker, they didn’t turn it off. They sent me a bill for the month after I moved out, even though I called five times and had spoken to different representatives and had been transferred a million times more, even though I went online and canceled the service and printed out the confirmation. Now I get to submit an appeal with the documentation I have from canceling it online, which is what the last representative had told me to do. This shouldn’t have been that difficult and now there’s more paperwork.

So, before breakfast even made it to the table my stomach was in knots.

Today’s the first day back at home and it has been a busy day already. I had two calls this morning and I have three in the evening. There’s a chunk of time for me to go to the gym, which I have been planning for a few days. Part of it being a busy day is that I went on vacation, so I know I did this to myself, but I guess I didn’t think it would feel like such a busy day.

Today’s gymming, it’s the first run of the new year, the first lift of the new year. After a few days of bustling around without a plan, I really need this day. So after this goes up, I’m out the door and heading off.

I wish my anxiety didn’t change the way it does.

Sometimes it feels like my heart is going to fail and break out of my chest and other times it’s nausea, which makes it difficult to maintain my appetite.

I know that everyone has different levels of anxiety and that it manifests differently for everyone, but it feels like a new experience every time. However, sometimes the same coping mechanisms work – other times they don’t and I have to push through and ignore it.

I’m excited for the run today and I’m hoping that it helps get out some of the energy I’m having. If it doesn’t I’ll figure it out.  

I feel like I’m being held too tightly and I truly believe that can be from traveling – going from one extreme to another.

Many that will help the nausea, slow and steady stepping into life again. Otherwise, there’s always peppermint tea in bone china cups.

Cristina

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