Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. – Jim Rohn
This holiday season is different than many others in the past.
This is my fifth holiday season with JP and his family. It’s the first that I’m not concerned with my size or weight.
Last year, I was still getting to a comfortable place after binging in the spring, reducing my stress, finding new coping mechanisms for stress and developing a new routine. On the scale, I had lost about 11 pounds from my heaviest over that summer and I was finally feeling good in my body – but I was still very much aware of it.
This season – I’m comfortable in my body and have been for most of the year. I feel confident in my food choices without tracking. I also feel better about the coping strategies I’ve been implementing.
However, these positives don’t mean I don’t still have a plan for Thursday.
JP and I talked about it and he asked what I wanted to do Thursday morning since we are spending the afternoon with his family.
In a perfect world we would do the Turkey Trot we had discussed because we did one last year and really liked it, but it’s going to be 22 degrees on Thursday and I’m not about that life. My alternative is going to the gym Thursday morning for a lift. If he wants to join me, he can, but I can also wake up early and let him sleep.
I also told him I’d like us to make breakfast together with mimosas and our fancy wine glasses, followed by getting out the Christmas boxes so we can set up the fake tree for Christmas this weekend.
Since the Thanksgiving meal is hosted at 1 pm, every year I make chili in the crockpot for us to have for dinner when we get home around 6 or 7 pm. I’ve made chili for the past three years because the first year we learned the hard way when we couldn’t find a Chinese restaurant open near us. So, we discussed setting up the crockpot before we leave as well.
As far as the meal, it’s the same food every year, so I eat what I like, and I don’t eat what I don’t like.
Overall, this isn’t my holiday. I’m not a fan of eating holidays for a few reasons – 1: I was obese before and I know what it’s like to feel no sense of control with large quantities of food. 2: I don’t like the idea of using large quantities of food to celebrate or grieve – just like I don’t like flowers to apologize.
Yes, JP I get a cup cake or two to celebrate things like new living space or putting up the tree, but it’s not that extravagant except for mimosas – we can’t feed an army.
So, I try to treat Thanksgiving and Christmas like every other meal – again, I take small portions of what I like, I pass on what I don’t like. If offered, I will take a little bit of things I want to home for another meal. I stop eating when I’m content and try to be mindful that I don’t push myself to feeling full.
I know that many won’t be able to relate to this thought process or perspective because in America, that’s what this holiday is about – overeating and celebrating.
JP jokes that you’re not doing it right until you hate yourself – I hate when he says things like this, but I’ve accepted that our humor isn’t always on par.
So, I guess my plan is to continue to make healthy choices to the best of my ability with what’s in front of me, and continue to moderate my behavior because it’s a part of my life now, and this day doesn’t have the power it once did to change that.