Where we live in takes a few minutes to get almost anywhere. We’re close enough to the highway, but not in the city – per say. You’ll hit a few lights. But really, it’s nothing. Maybe enough time to turn on the radio a listen to a few songs if I time getting in the car just right. No commercials if I’m lucky.
However, most days I get in the car in the middle of a song.
This week I got in the car a few times and heard the same song playing. Clearly, when something’s good the radio kills it.
This one song thought, I knew the melody, I knew most of the words, but I didn’t know who was singing or the full song. Blues Traveler told us that the hook gets us to come back. There’s something in the melody that makes us nod, tap our fingers and there’s a part of our brain that codes this information, files it for later in case we need it again.
There’s been a number of times when I’ve listened to songs more carefully that I realized the words and their meaning – that I’ve sat there in awe or shock to what I was jamming out to.
Backstreet Boys “As long as you love me” comes to mind immediately.
I do care who you are, where you’re from (to a degree) and what you’ve done.
Anyway I digress.
Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier.
This part repeats in my head. As I was on the shuttle I googled the rest of the lyrics because I know parts of phrases, but not the whole song. I read the lyrics and realized it was an upbeat song about a guy thinking his relationship should end because his partner would be happier. He says that he should, but he fights with the idea.
While there’s probably no deeper meaning, I couldn’t help but play it again at home and then reread the words. I thought about self-relationship and the battles that we face within ourselves.
What is happiness?
What is success?
What is truly living your best life?
These are the battles I come across daily – not just in myself, but in my clients, in my community.
20/20 did a story last year about the American Dream and asked people what it meant for them. A lot of them said that it meant spending time with family and providing for them so that they wouldn’t have to work as hard in the future as they were currently. Many of those interviewed were considered middle-class Americans, who were working two to three jobs just to live a normal life.
What good is money if you don’t get to enjoy?
What good is life if you don’t really get to live it?
I’ve been thinking about when I’m truly happy and what causes those feelings. I don’t believe in a higher power, but I guess I believe in purpose.
I’m happiest when I’m giving back to my community – local and global – making a difference down the street, but also in California and maybe overseas.
Earlier this week I connected with a woman in New Zealand. It was 6 pm here and 11 am the next day there. We had met in a Facebook group and she had commented on a transformation photo of mine that she was interested in competing. I sent her a message and said if she wanted to talk I could give her some things to consider while she figured out if she wanted to compete or not. So, with 17 hours between us, we video chatted and texted about reading through league guidelines and determining which federation she wanted to participate in. We talked about posing, suits, make up, creating a timeline to have enough time to prep and finding a coach. We talked about different styles of prepping from a nutritional perspective as well as training.
I sent her a check list that I had made for a few former clients who had been considering competing so they could have it all laid out – the costs, the timeline, everything.
She was ecstatic and you could tell that she hadn’t realized that there were so many details that went into competing regardless of country and federation.
This wasn’t about making her a client, it was about giving her some information that I wish I had when I got started so she could make an education choice for herself.
I had a few screenings this week and I got the same rush that I always feel hearing about a potential client’s life, their goals, what they’ve tried, where they want to go. In this work, I see my practice evolving with each client and I honestly believe that’s how it should be. In the beginning I wanted to help people set goals that were realistic for their life and that included understanding basic nutritional concepts and activity. However, it’s not just about providing physical health guidance, and it never really was – it was about examining their environments (and resources) and how the impact it has on their lives. We’re looking at health through a different lens, we’re treating people like whole people.
I shared this table the other night after I had a screening with a client. While there is a divide between healthcare and the fitness industry, I do think that some lines should be blurred, and this is one of them.
In my caption I wrote that health coaching doesn’t just look at how ready you are for change, but asks does your environment support that change and if not, what does it support and how can we change it so it is supportive. I’ve adjusted pricing for more clients than not based on their financial means and to me that is how I can tie public health into my coaching practice.
This is my purpose. It took me a while to realize this, but back to the song –
I’ve been thinking about what would make me happier in this aspect of my life – and allowing my doubt to be personified has made this weekend a bit easier as I sort out a few things in my head and on paper. Thinking about some of the thoughts I’ve had about my own abilities, I’ve reflected that I wouldn’t say these things to a friend or a colleague or a client. I would also tell them to ignore the outside noise, even if the noise was in their head. I won’t lie this is something I’ve said to myself before and it’s something I’ve said here – I do think some things are hard to change, but I think they’re a work-in-progress. However, this time, I think personification of these feelings is making it easier to dismiss them.
This song is like doubt singing to me and walking away.
Yeah, it’s a bit deep. But there’s some things coming that I never saw happening in this life time and it’s time to dig a bit deeper.