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Day 204, Quote 20: Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

This was day 49 of the 100 days of writing. This is from days ago. I’ve answered prompts as it made sense, but I haven’t written for all of the days. I look at them each day and think about how the prompt makes me feel and if I believe it’s worth writing about.

I don’t just write to write. I want to feel compelled to say something.

This title? First thing that popped into my head. Lyrics from Boys Like Girls, which I think says more about my teenage years than I could ever explain.

So, playlists.

When I first read this prompt and I saw how running was broken up, I started thinking about my lists. The things I like to do and the things I have to do. That’s really how I divide up my time. Need and want.

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My Playlists:

1.Writing for me: blogging, journaling

1b.Writing for business: coaching, blogging, work

2.Working out for me: lifting, some running, walking

2b.Working out for JP: running, walking

3.Listening to podcasts for me: TEDTalks, Pod Save America, This American Life

3b.Listening to podcasts with JP: Brunch, Zero Blog Thirty

4.Reading for me: the classics i.e. the books everyone in high school hated, research, cookbooks

4b.Reading for business: research

5. Music today

5b. Music when I flashback

The first playlist I thought about was my writing. Sometimes it is hard for me to tell the difference between writing for myself and writing for others – it does overlap and for the most part I don’t mind. However, I have been trying to figure out how to balance my journaling – which is private, with blogging – which isn’t. I think it’s something that I’m going to have  to work on for a while.

My biggest fear is that something I enjoy and invest myself into will become a chore and therefore less enjoyable.

There have been times that writing has been less fun, but there were specific events that made it that way and for the most part, I’ve moved passed the opportunity for similar events to occur.

I’ve been working to get my business writing into a schedule. If I want to share an educational post, it’s going to be on a Wednesday – #wellnessWednesday. I like themes like that and so it made sense. Towards the end of the week or really I guess the weekend and weekstart days I do my own update. Other posts are just sporadically posted and that’s also ok. I think for the most part I’m in a schedule.

I don’t feel I have to do writing every week, but if I write, this is kind of the structure I give myself – I can plan and layout my time so I don’t feel like every time I sit down to write it’s about my blog.

My perspective of working out kind of surprised me because I never thought about why I do different exercises or programming or whatever you want to call it in this way before.

I lift because I like the metrics associated with it. I do like numbers, and seeing my strength grow and change is very cool. Tiny, but mighty thought process. You can work the same muscle differently with more reps, less weight; more weight, less reps. Being able to see how the body moves and functions when I see my reflection in the mirror still leaves me in awe that I’m capable.

I run because symbolically it’s like leaving everything behind. Whether I’m inside or on the treadmill, I imagine the world fading away and in some cases, it’s very much like Colors of the Wind scenery flying by me. However, I know running is also one of only exercise-like activities that JP enjoys. So sometimes, running isn’t for me, sometimes it for us to spend together, which is a very different kind of enjoyment and is very different purpose.

I’m not sure if I’m upset by the shift in purpose, I don’t think I am, it’s just an observation that running has evolved into two separate ideas.

Listening to podcasts is really about educational growth, but also seeing from points-of-view. When I’m listening for myself, I’m seeking out stories of strength and in many cases it leads down a rabbit hole to video so I can see body language. I’m really terrible with voices. I want to see someone’s movements and be moved by them. This is a reason I talk with clients through video chat – we can learn from body language more than we can from words.

The variance in podcast from my tastes to JP’s really gives me an idea of what kind of humor he finds funny to what topics mean something to him. What grabs my attention isn’t most definitely not the same as what grabs his. My purpose is for learning and his is for entertainment. It just shows how the same medium can fit into different molds.

Reading is a weird one.

My interests have changed greatly as I’ve gotten older, but there are some titles that still pull me back like The Great Gatsby and Fahrenheit 451.

I never thought I would enjoy reading research, but there are times that I do need to tell myself to put articles down and take a break because I’m getting too invested and the time is escaping me. Reading blends with school and there was the time during my masters I didn’t read for fun and then again during my associates. Now with more time on my hands, I’m seeking to learn balance between reading for a half hour with myself outside versus reading an article on my computer for three hours dissecting it’s contents.

Thinking about what I read and why, makes me want to try to be more observant about why I’m reading in the moment. It’s kind of like my writing. I don’t want it to become a chore even though I know it’s part of both my global health job and coaching. I love learning, but I also know that sometimes you need a break and do things for fun and just fun – don’t dabbling in work fun.

The music that I listen to really is a mosh posh of high school and college Cristina meets the early 1990s with a little hair metal thrown into the mix. I do like some music that has been made today, but not much. I’m just saying that I really prefer Hootie and the Blowfish before Hootie went solo.

Anyway, there’s music that I listen to on the radio because it’s there and there’s my own playlists on Spotify that are good for when I’m getting work done, cleaning or doing the dishes or laundry and sometimes, but rarely – working out. The difference between music I leisurely listen to and music when I flashback is really the time period.

When I’m thinking about past events from childhood, whether willingly or not, the music I hear in my head – not willingly playing is specific to that time period. I’m sure many of us joke that if only we could memorize facts like we do songs then we’d never have an issue with studying. Well, that’s how I feel when I hear some of these songs in my head. The lyrics are clear as day and it’s as though I just heard the song. Sometimes it’s relaxing and other times it’s annoying to the point that I need to load up the song and have a listen to be able to move on with my day.

It’s completely ok if I’m the only one hears songs in my head, but I’m sure I’m not alone. I never thought about it too much, and like my other lists it doesn’t bother me, it’s just a weird observation.

There were definitely others who wrote specific lists and called it a day, and there I was thinking well there’s more to playlists than just making categories.

I guess what it comes down to is that I always look for the why and then I think about the actions going forward. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop looking for the why or what I expect when I find it, but I do think it makes things a little bit more interesting.

<3 Cristina

 

 

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