“I can do this, I don’t know why 4 weeks ago, 8 weeks ago I didn’t, but now I can.”

That’s what a client said to me a few weeks ago during a check in. That was our last check in for the “structured” part of our coaching-client relationship. 

So if, she can face her goals and fear head on, so can I. 

This is my new blog series. I’m going way back to basics. I haven’t been myself and those who know me know this too. They know that while I tried to overcome the negativity that continued after my first show of the season, it continued to eat at me. It doesn’t matter how many times I say people are bored and that’s why they’re mean and say the shit they do, I still try to wrap my head around that behavior. 

It’s not about ignoring comments or who’s winning the battle or war, it’s that this shouldn’t have been happening to begin with. So now, I’m going back to where I started. I’m going back to writing. If you want to keep up with my journey, I’m going to force you to follow me the way I want you to. I’m going to make you read it. Yep, instagram is deactivated until further notice. It’s not going to be a daily adventure, even though I enjoyed taking you through my day. It’s going to be a collective post of my week – what was good or bad, exciting for me. 

I’ll get back to posting recipes too.

Asking you to join me on my journey, whatever that journey is, is a privilege and a lot of people abused it. FUCK THAT. 

This is my life. My journey. My story. 

I will tell it and share it how I want to. So I hope you like reading because I miss writing like I used. It took me a few weeks to write the first post in this series because I was scared I would get emails tearing me down, but you know what, I didn’t write and I still got emails. I got emails about my physical appearance, emails calling me a fraud for coaching, I got emails and messages about my relationship – saying they felt terrible for JP because he was “stuck” with me, emails telling me I’m a terrible representation of bodybuilding, messages saying I got fat – I’m sorry I’m not stage lean year round? The list goes on. My behavior doesn’t change the behavior of those who are choosing to be negative towards me. If I ignored them, they come my way and if I acknowledge them I’m told that I’m asking for it. yeah, ok, that makes sense. 

I’ve had this conversation with friends before – do we really think they’ll stop once I have my degree? Do we really think they’ll stop once I obtain my personal training certifications? Hell no! Because there will always be something they will comment about, something they will always pick at.

Take that jump is going to be about the risks I’m taking this part of my journey. The risks I’m taking with JP. It’s about the next part of the journey, whatever that path looks like. It’s about setting new and different goals, and diving in head first. 

If you’re reading I hope it’s because you actually want to be here and if you’re reading because you can’t look away from this car crash all I can say is…

I can’t believe I was scared of disconnecting. I think I felt that it would ruin coaching or my ability to connect to others on their journey, but there’s always a way to connect. We did so before social media platforms came around and I have no issue doing it differently now. 

You want to know about my day? It was uneventful, but I got 6 hours of studying and homework done. Everything for my nutrition class is finished for the first week including two quizzes, so now I can focus on studying for my exam and quiz this week in A and P. I like why I’m learning, it makes sense. Some I already knew and obviously a lot I didn’t. 

I’m going to make mistakes, but with 5 weeks left of these classes I hope it’s minimal. 

I took a break to eat because of course I did. Here’s a shot of my mid-morning snack: chocolate protein cauli-oats. Solid use of mini chocolate chips. 

We’re going to lay down for a bit before figuring out dinner plans. I think we’re leaning towards scallops, but haven’t committed to anything yet. 

I hope you have a great Saturday night, and take the jump with me. 

❤ Cristina 

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